How to win friends and influence people
Rule 1: become genuinely interested in other people
1.) "do this and you will be welcome anywhere"
2.) "you can more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get another people interested in you."
3.) "ask questions to other people, questions that they would enjoy answering."
This means that people will become interested in you if you do not do the opposite, you must be willing to like others before others can like you. You must be kind and friendly but most importantly, you must be open so that others may have a chance to get to know you and like you. What Carnegie talks about is having good friends can get you to many places and can also give you more friends to do what others like. An example would be asking the person a couple questions that are satisfying to answer then you build a bond unless you ask them something about yourself then that is not going to get friends.
Rule 2: Smile
1.) "actions peak louder that words, and a smile says "i like you. you make happy. i'm glad to see you"
2.) "you don't feel like smiling? then force yourself to smile."
3.) "it creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and the countersign (witness or indication) of friends."
What this means is that being happy is a major key. Even if you do not feel happy, just put a smile on your face and pretend so that you make other peoples day and that will come back to you. Smiling in itself will make you happy no matter the mood you are in. Smiling makes you feel good and it brings benefits not only to you but the people who see that smile, it may bring encouragement. An example would be a man smiling and he bring that into the coffee shop to pick up his drink and then the person handing you the drink feels inspired to smile harder than you.
Rule 3: Remember Names
1.) "A mans name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language."
2.) "if you don't remember names, you are headed for trouble."
What this means is that a persons name is very valuable and not only to the person but may also be valuable to others. As such a name should be treated with respect and should not be tarnished because a name is not to be taken lightly. To a man a name could be the reason he lives, there is pride in owning a name and some would say its a sense of accomplishment. An example of this would be a viking and vikings take everything they own and have have as a victory and so disrespecting that would be a terrible sin. The importance of this is to remember peoples names because it will take you far in life and it might help you better yourself socially.
Rule 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves
1.) "if you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener."
2.) "remember that the man you are talking to is a hundred times more interested in himself and his wants and his problems that he is in you and your problems.
What this means is that being a good listener is important and useful, because you can make someones day or ruin it. Being a good listener is a skill that can help you do something more efficiently and not have to have others get annoyed and repeat themselves. Listening is a good skill to have and will make others like you as a person and can potentially give you friends in the process and listening can mean the difference of someone being happy and someone being sad.
Rule 6: Make the other person feel important- and do it sincerely
1.) "The desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature." (John Dewey)
2.) "Helping people feel important and appreciated works magic."
What this means is that making others feel important is just as important as keeping yourself healthy because that could help someones else's health and may benefit them in life for years to come. Feeling important or needed is a human necessity and is what keeps us from being depressed because we as humans need communication and what better communication than giving someone the pleasure of feeling needed.
